tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5888438300076664400.post1936740146396441154..comments2014-12-09T17:25:07.561-08:00Comments on Words and Images: Captured by the Limbs of SocietyAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5888438300076664400.post-48393100216452645572011-09-27T16:25:55.236-07:002011-09-27T16:25:55.236-07:00Paragraphs 1, 2, and 4 don't do very much that...Paragraphs 1, 2, and 4 don't do very much that isn't a repetition of things that were said in class.<br /><br />On the plus side, this shows that you were listening. And I'm not denying either that some of the ideas were yours, nor that you might have come up with them independently. But what you need to do when you're really going over something that was done pretty thoroughly in class is *continue* the conversation, not repeat it.<br /><br />How to push our collective ideas farther? How to challenge them? How to develop them? Typically, you'd begin with a narrower focus, and try to *develop* the thing which most interests you.<br /><br />The 3rd paragraph, where you bring romanticism into this specific image, is an example of continuing the conversation. This section is underdeveloped (of course it is - you'd need a whole essay to handle it!) but it at least shows promise of a new or newish idea which pushes the envelop of what we talked about in class.<br /><br />Don't repeat - continue.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5888438300076664400.post-70842690375457629282011-09-24T18:47:35.542-07:002011-09-24T18:47:35.542-07:00Elan,
I think this is a really great blog. I actua...Elan,<br />I think this is a really great blog. I actually had a hard time thinking of constructive criticism. It is organized and focused. One thing you could try to do would be to incorporate the quote more in your essay and elaborate there. Other than that keep up the good work!Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13624494908327693172noreply@blogger.com