tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5888438300076664400.post2810930042086597684..comments2014-12-09T17:25:07.561-08:00Comments on Words and Images: Crumb- Illustrating life through GenesisAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5888438300076664400.post-59198038944691796032014-10-25T11:45:11.505-07:002014-10-25T11:45:11.505-07:00The first couple paragraphs don’t do much. Is you...The first couple paragraphs don’t do much. Is your thesis really a thesis? “While the film showed that Robert was the only brother of the three that was not diagnosed with a mental illness, it was made obvious that was very crucial to his development of an artist and man.” For this to really be an argument, you’d need to assert not just this general point, but something about *how* this knowledge helps us understand *Genesis*.<br /><br />“The literal translation is probably more shocking than a spoof, since many would assume Crumb would do a spoof and to see the Book of Genesis in such a literal light from an artist like Crumb can take people by surprise.” -- That’s a good line, although it doesn’t accomplish much in isolation - this is maybe an opportunity to examine a moment when he turns away from the possibility of the spoof. Is there a connection here between the mental illness which interests you in the first paragraph and the literalism you emphasize in the 2nd paragraph? <br /><br />“His life is almost characterized by Jacob, where he must push up great stones to mark memorials. Each stone being pushed is a stone Robert had to push himself.” Now here’s the challenge. Could you make this into a convincing argument? It’s not easy, but it has potential.<br /><br />Point 1: He does clearly *choose* to put great emphasis on the pillars<br />Point 2: He is deeply interested in inter-family strife, which is a key topic in his own life and in Genesis<br />Question: Could one argue that the pillars relate directly to inter-family strife?<br />Question: Is there direct evidence that his portrayal of Jacob is a metaphor for his own life? I think it’s a great idea (Charles as Esau? His father as Isaac, or maybe better as Abraham sacrificing Isaac?), but at this stage, it’s an interesting speculation. You need to convince us.<br /><br />Note: Even if if this isn’t convincing yet, it is in many ways your best work. The ideas are great, the writing is clear and interesting - it just needs to be more of an argument.<br /><br />Ellen's second paragraph is important - obviously that's advice you need to follow if this is going to be a convincing argument.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5888438300076664400.post-48631762586354403742014-10-21T13:17:14.194-07:002014-10-21T13:17:14.194-07:00Your essay goes over the similarities and differen...Your essay goes over the similarities and differences between Crumb's life and other works verses Genesis well, and I think a clear contrast was established, especially in your second paragraph. Your opening paragraph doesn't mention Genesis at all though, and since it's an important part of the essay I think your thesis should clearly indicate that the essay will relate this work specifically to Crumbs life. The third paragraph largely supports the one before it and the details could be integrated into that paragraph rather than composing their own. <br />Later on, you go into a lot of details of Crumb's family life. While it's helpful to establish background, explaining these details should be used more within your argument by connecting them to details in Genesis, like you do in the second-to-last paragraph. Overall, I think more specifics from the illustrations of Genesis should be used, not just the text. Finding a place that Crumb made artistic interpretations and relating that to his life would help support your argument that his family life was a clear influence on his work in Genesis.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14079529923545261782noreply@blogger.com