tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5888438300076664400.post4401563071119979959..comments2014-12-09T17:25:07.561-08:00Comments on Words and Images: Revision #1 - Elan SternbergAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5888438300076664400.post-75732666580088574472011-10-26T16:55:53.402-07:002011-10-26T16:55:53.402-07:00Two initial problems: it's very short (someth...Two initial problems: it's very short (something like three pages), and doesn't include any real research. Both of these things are problems, but are also related to a larger problem: this is not a coherent essay. After having been through it a couple times, I can say that you do have interesting and worthwhile things to say - the observation about the forest being really like a cave is 100% worth pursuing, for instance. The problem is that your thoughts are all isolated: in one paragraph, the forest is like a cave. In another, the monster is stronger than nature. In another, he doesn't belong to the world. All of these are legimate, worthwhile things to say in response to Ward's illustrations - but how do they make a coherent argument? You need *one* clear argument running through an essay, animating the whole thing. I suspect (as much as I dislike that your research began and ended with a bad website) that the idea of the cave, and what it represents, would have been the best way of bringing all of your ideas together - you simply stopped far short of actually doing so.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.com