Topic/Summary
I
would like to continue working on my essay regarding Ware and people’s values. I
would like to use the topic that Ware wants the reader to evaluate their values
and the values of society as a whole. I would like to keep it focused around technology
and commercialism, specifically around the World’s Columbian Exposition and the
present. I would like to use tangents of military, socialization and social
skills, and maybe others, but if they do not work out, I will remove them.
Purpose
This
argument should be important to the reader because it makes them think about
their daily lives and the daily lives of others. The World’s Columbian
Exposition showed positive progression of the United States as a country, or at
least that was its goal. This essay should cause the reader to question whether
their values and the values of society are on track for further positive
progression, if the positive progression has already hit a negative detour, or
is there was never any positive progression to begin with. Although that is
entirely a personal opinion, the essay will provide some guidance in supporting
or countering and possibly changing their personal opinions.
Bibliography
"The World's Columbian Exposition." History
Files - The World's Columbian Exposition. Chicago
Historical Society, n.d. Web. 12 Nov. 2014.
I
would like to use this source to discuss the values of the people who attended
the World’s Columbian Exposition. It shows that people were more interested in
the displays that were for entertainment purposes
"The
World's Columbian Exposition." (1890): 4. The Daily Inter Ocean, 15 Mar.
1890. Web. 16 Nov. 2014. <http://callisto10.ggimg.com/imgsrv/FastPDF/NCNP/WrapPDF=contentSet=NCNP=recordID=5AHS-1890-MAR15-004-F.pdf>.
I
would like to use this source since it describes the event from the viewpoint
of people that may be attending it. It goes into a little bit of detail on the
name of the event and what it plans to accomplish.
"World's
Fair Notes." (1892): 4. The North American, 15 July 1892. Web. 16 Nov.
2014.
<http://callisto10.ggimg.com/imgsrv/FastPDF/NCNP/WrapPDF=contentSet=NCNP=recordID=5DXI-1892-JUL15-004-F.pdf>.
I would like to
use this source since it shows some of the efforts that went into the fair. It
shows some estimates on monetary spending for some aspects as well as some of
the planning involved.
Introduction (I decided to
start here since it was said to be too vague on my second revision)
Chris
Ware’s Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid
on Earth is a very complex comic book. Not only does it not read like a
normal comic book due to its complex panel layouts, but it is almost
meaningless when read on the surface. However, when read at a deeper level,
there are multiple meanings or purposes are possible to explore. One of these
purposes is to cause the reader to reevaluate their personal values, as well as
the values of society as whole. The main themes for these values include
technology and commercialism, but also can be viewed through military and
social lenses. A common central point for these questionable values is the
World’s Columbian Exposition. The World’s Columbian Exposition set out to show
the progress of United States as a country. Ware questions whether the United
States is still headed in the direction that the World’s Columbian Exposition
was supposed to guide us towards, or if there was a negative detour along the
way.
My first question is: what will be different here than in the revision? What has been left unsaid? What do you want to change? You're awful vague on what will actually be different this time around, and that doesn't bode well.
ReplyDeleteThat's not to say that I have any problem with you revisiting that topic. Nor is it quite true that you have *nothing* to say about why you want to revisit it. This is a step in the right direction: "Although that is entirely a personal opinion, the essay will provide some guidance in supporting or countering and possibly changing their personal opinions." If you could explain how, why, and in what direction that you want to change their opinion, I'd understand much more clearly what you were up to here. I agree that the topic is interesting, and it's not like your research is bad - it's that you need to figure out what you're trying to do with your research.
Your introduction has improved, and shows some promise. I'd like to see you answer that question, though, and help us to understand why you think it's relevant. Is this an essay about the "negative detour"? If so, fine - but you should be able to focus on that topic, then, and not get involved in self-admitted tangents along the way.